the new fireside chats volume one (smoking, laughing, waiting)

what follows is a direct transcirption of a conversation held between myself (r) and yogi(y), a good friend of mine. it has not been alterred in any way. enjoy.

r: you should sit right there.

y: i don't know, this chair is pretty fucking compfortable.

r: i know. that's my throne. you have a throne yet?

y: i've never had just one.

r: everyman's gotta have his throne, you gotta have a throne. a man's gotta have one thrown that he keeps over time, puts mileage on.

y: i see why this is really great.

r:...

y:...

invader zim is on. career day episode. we're watching it on my computer.

r: laughs.

y: laughs.

r: laughs.

y: i think everyone should have to watch it with the computer outline like that.

r: right. laughs.

y: laughs. laughs. laughs.

r:...

y:...laughs.

r: laughs.

y: laughs hysterically.

Y: is that guy psycho or what?

r: laughs.

r:...

y:...

r:...

y:...

r:laughs.

y:...

r:...

y:i wanna live in that cartoon. it seems pretty cool. that girl reminds me of the girl. sometimes the way they draw her, she looks like the girl from fight club.

r:marla?

y:yeah. i've only seen it twice.

r:fight club?

y:no, they don't draw her that way in every scene, just twice so far.

r:...

y:...

r:laughs.

y:laughs. laughs.

the show ends.

r:we should go smoke a cigarette.

y:okay.

r:...

y:...

r:did you ever read the alternate version of the footprints in the sand story?

y:no.

r:it's exactly the same except at the end it says, then i realized that the only reason there was only one set of footprints is that i was carrying you god. no wonder it was so hard.

y:laughs. i like that version better.

r:no shit.

r:mummbles.

y:laughs.

r:when i was a little kid i saw this movie on tv. or part of this movie. i never knew what it was called but i remember how it started. it was this guy carrying trash out and he gets to the dumpster and his brothers are in it. they're about to be adopted because their parents died or something. so he runs off with them. and the cops are after them and everything.

y:it's fucked up that it was their brother and he was in trouble for keeping them all together.

r:one of them, stayed in this trash bag all the time. and then, i think, at the end, he finally came out of the bag and they'd built him up to be all ugly and he was all perfect looking. they kept having to repaint the van becuase of the cops or something.

y:i had this things for that girl from party of five.

r:neve cambell?

y:no, the one who was in...i think it was she's all that?

r:i know what you did last summer?

y:no, this was the other daughter.

r: the little girl?

y:well, she's hot.

r:she's a little girl!

y:i don't care what she was, now she's hot.

r:i guess i can't say anything, i have such a thing for punky brewster.

y:yeah.

r:it's all about punk rock chicks.

y:her friend.

r:cherry?

y:no, in party of five.

r:oh, i forget her name.

y:yeah. that's her. i got it bad for this girl at work right now. the things she does that normally piss me off, i love it when she does it. she's a red head, dude.

r:oh, she's a fire-crotch.

y:yeah, that's all you gotta say. it's just like, i'm pissed of and you're the reason why and you're gonna know it.

r:and it's the sexiest thing in the world.

y:watching her tear into the kitchen staff. she's like "i want you to do your fuckin job!" it's bad ass.

r:i love that. red heads are like born punk rock chicks. i don't mean punk rock like green hair.

y:i know. or i'm starting to.

r:punk rock's pretty cool. it saved rock and roll. when rock went coorporate punk rock came along to pick up the slack of playing out of sheer need and desire to play, not desire to make money, you know?

y:yeah.

r:...

y:...

(don't worry this conversation does get more interesting. but i did promise to transcribe exactly as it was, so deal with it.)

y:look at that stupid moth.

r:you're a heartless bastard, he's just trying to get to the light. moths don't live that long, he deserves to find a little light before he goes.

y:i'm gonna go lay out here.

r:alright. here, help me carry some of this.

y:you've got all this baggage.

r:i know.

y:it's a big production....i remember it used to be a running joke at the anada center [ananda meditation and yoga center] that we were all trying to be yogis but on the meditation retreats or whatever we'd all have all these pillows and mats to sit on. (laughing)

we'd talk about how we'd have this retreat or whatever but we'd bring these pillows and stuff that real yogis didn't have.

r:don't you think they would have used pillows if they'd had them? they just sat on the ground cus it's all they had. they didn't have no home. theire parents all kicked them out when they told them they wanted to be yogis. (mock parent voice) no son of mine is going to be a yogi. that's just a nice word for a bum. (laughing)

y:(laughing)

r: yeah, they got home from work and said their wives or whatever, i don't think i'm going to go to work anymore. i think i'm going to be a yogi. his wife would be all "get the fuck outta here. i won't have hobos living in my house." (laughing)

y:(laughs)

r:you know that's how it was.

y:are the clouds actually moving that fast or is it just me?

r:yeah they're moving pretty good.

y:i've never actually seen clouds move that fast.

r:i wouldn't say it's that fast. have you watched clouds much?

y:not really.

r:they can move pretty fast sometimes. i love to watch clouds move.

end of tape one side a. the next seven parts will follow. each tape getting a little more to the heart of things.



2002-09-09 | 10:01 p.m.
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