i resent the way you make me like myself

yogi kissed me tonight. which is odd, though i can't say unexpected, it seemed on its way for a long time now, in need of being. maybe to see what the fuss was about, maybe to feel what it feels to be alone and together at the same time maybe we've just spent so much time together it was a thing that just needed to be at that moment. at any rate it happened afte a night of happenings. went to shuck-n-jive. had a few drinks (four or five), went to cocina caliente and had more (two dollar tuesdays rock my universe) was drunker than drunk man dan. left and went to jay's with yogi had eggs pancakes a bit of sausage enjoyed it all. had to stop on the way to vomit on the far side of a dumpster from the car. hands and knees is the way man was born to be it seems. but got to jay's talked about sex for awhile, talked about kelly (he has been with her as well.) and half passed out over the toilet seat, god at a time like this and left so he could make a booty call, then talked howkellly now sees what she did to me in his relationship with her and hates it, consideres him a bad friend. good for her. i only wish she'd see the way it was with me, the way she handled things and know how low and dishonorable the whole bit ran and fell and left me lying in ruins at the freeway of life. some days things seem off and some days on but always they are what they are. good to know good to know but still not a cure for anguish. what is?

"your back curls like a creeping line, but the answers in the fluid in the stem of the spine, in the black coffee bowl of your eye why do you over estimate the size of the lie, and i see the dangers of your rising sign, but i swear i'd like to drink the fuel straight from your lighter. it's all inside the wrist, it's all inside the way you time it, i resent the way you make me like myself."
-m doughty

2002-09-18 | 4:52 a.m.
0 comments so far