lovesong for brae

midnight and there was little I could do to stop it. I didn�t mean for the sun to go down this way in hearts and spades and cards left on the tabletop where we passed out drunk again and wanting nothing more than what we had and what we were. give us back our triangulated prinicipals we know how to count instead of all of this. I can�t remember what it meant to be your friend or soulmate or whatever you called us.

it was our last minute together in a year and we played uno and you had three red twos, I had a skip and a reverse. I miss having reverses. I miss when life was games of uno on tiny tables splitting whatever it was we were.

you wore shorts, umbros and a little white shirt your hair was wet from the shower and we had just begun to really converse. you wanted to get married to a strong man from spain, I wanted to be happy.

so I sit here now and think of our last games of uno, our last cigarettes smoked by the lake, our last drinking games and we were passing out on life, passing out on anything but what we knew was true. we were destined for big love. and that was the only way it mattered to us then.

as long as we can breathe and speak the speech to each other at midnight boyfriend dumped you, girlfriend cheated on me, let�s smoke a cigarette and you can tell me about the last time he told you he loved you, the last time he meant it. I�ll tell you about the daylight spent on sitting on stairs and studying kant. we can both win this way. we can both become a little more alive and know that neither of us is falling away. and then the moon turned and the light fell upwards and all of us were home and you hadn�t kissed me goodbye crying on the plane when will we see each other one more time. I guess it was the last time the night would frown and dip to point it�s ears our way. I wish you�d kissed me goodbye.

2002-09-25 | 5:22 p.m.
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