destination: loneliness

so i was laying waiting binging myself on half sleep half time interleague play where are the silk candyhorses and the ice cream men? i was gouging out the eyes of anyone not in my dream sequences and it occured to me that i have had still have things to do today.

i wanted to tell a story here and remind myself of things i meant to think or say or do but i know it will all fall flat and the sotry will eventually lead to more dispointment. they don't know what i'm saying thinking doing worrying about all this time it was nothing nowhere not even this and now it's going away softly and working itself into a dizzy frenzy not quite sure of itself not quite alone not quite sinister enough to be afraid of not quite fair enough to be justice. they say justice is karma with satisfaction but where's the satisfaction in taking leaving empty glances empty rooms empty thoughts i never wanted anyone to be alone and waiting.

i though breif that it might be nice but now i'm not so sure. it used to be alone meant fun and endearing and time to think and now it's only a deep casted glare and a san andreas of reasons to fall asleep and not know the truth. in the end we are all alone were all meant to be alone it comes easier when you don't have to worry. i do miss the warmth of a body next to me though. i hope none of them have to.

2002-09-15 | 11:00 a.m.
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