the coastergirl diaries volume twenty-eight

"i'm so alone tonight, miss you more than i will let you know, so alone tonight my head feels larger than when i was small, lost in memories lost in sheets and old pillows miss the outline of your back, miss you breathing down my neck, they're all out to get you."
- tim booth

it was tarting to warm up the night we went to the park. we'de been laying about shiftless watching television and waxing intellectual about music all day. VH1 had a behind the music marathon on. we must have watched a dozen episodes. after the blondie one ended we both felt ready to committ to the idea of doing something else.

her: i feel like going to a park.
me: i haven't been to a park in months.
her: i know a good one near here.
me: let's go.

we shuffled into the car and rattled off listening to james. laid. we pulled intot he park and got out. it was ten or so. no one was really there but a few teenagers steaming up the car windows so we made out way to the playground and hopped into a couple of swings.

her: i used to come here with jason all the time.
me: have you talked to him lately?
her: i can't talk to him. i know he's in town right now.
me: are you going to call him?
her: no, but i can always tell when he's in town.

we stopped swinging through the quiet after awhileand decided to climb on the playground. i went up the fake rockwall with built in plastic steps, she took the stairs. we ducked under the railings and sat on the blue plastic covered metal marked in x's across the landing. then i was a kid, they used wood. plastic now. everything's plastic now (she looks liek the real thing, she tastes like the real thing, my fake plastic love.")

we laid sprawling across the metal coastegirl let her feet and legs dangle down the slide. i pulled my feet in cross legged and she laid her head on my lap. i pout my hands on her. running my fingers across her face chest stomach legs knees. she smiled.

her: you love that i'm an exhibitionist.
me: i never said i didn't.

i pulled her shirt up to her neck line and began kissing her stomach running my fingers along her thighs. it was getting hot down there but i was giving in yet. then i could feel her heat with my hand down by her knees and she let out a barely audible yelp "please." i conceeded and slid my hand up her thighs and arched my palm between her legs. her jeans felt wet.

me: jesus.
her: hopefully soon.

she grabbed my hand holding it still grinding herself against it while i kissed her breasts.

we finished a while later and got up her knees a bit weak and went back to the car.

me: what do you feel like doing now?
her: i don't know.
me: i need some water.

we dawdled as musch as a car can still listening to james and happy with our lives.

we passed janiel on the road and honked. she turned around. we met in a citgo lot and i went in to get water while they bantered a bit.

janiel: what are you two up to?
me: no good.
her: i want to dxm.
me: okay.
janiel: sounds good.

we met janiel at my house and dropped listening to rainer maria. coastergirl and janiel passed out early and i laid back stretched across the room entertaining wast wisions of a long corridor locked at the end (and for good reason, i knew, something was out there.) and standing down the hall looking back two hundred feet and a path that had to be opened from the inside away from total devastation.

at some point someone asked it in. someone had to, and a great serpent began eatting long jawmarks out of the corridor. there was no way out. i knew it. someone had to have wanted it in there. i sat down cross-legged and awaited my fate. i was calm and beautiful.

2002-09-21 | 6:52 p.m.
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