this is all i want

it was easier then when it was all in soft light trances and dips from the moonlight beneath trees, but now, alone in careful ways i love the sound of my own silence. there are taps and clicks of keyboards i can only hear in the distance i am roaring thunder from my seascape praying for the mountain lion of time to climb upon me i can know it goes i can know it comes and all twists up rollercoaster of life goes upwards and the sun burns out but we can still lay alone and think quiet smooth thoughts and believe in nothing for the time being believe in everything it's all so much the same i can breathe here and there and in circles bouncing.

i'm thinking about people afraid to acknowledge things afraid to admit and words ripped and pulled and slapsticked down to the sides of hills ridden with fear i know how i want to seem they say i know how i want it to be heard it's so careful don't lose your grip don't lose your way.

there are words, silly sounding and worthless for that because of that so i won't use them over and over and over and over and i will lay here quiet thinking being near to me and feeling my own heartbeat my own head on my own chest taking notes to devise a cliff's notes for clerical errors in judgement.

i love the sky going down and back around my arms and wrapping us all in warmth and cold and clean and wet it's so wet we can all pull the sunglasses from our cheekbones and watch the light fall up.

2002-12-13 | 8:02 p.m.
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