this time around

i wasn't going to say all this, but then i remembered: you're not home. what can you say about it?

i knew it would matter if you wanted it to, but you didn't think to call the cops didn't think to tell a lie or mean harm or say untrue things against me.

i said all the bads things in my dreams. in my dreams you didn't say anything unkind, i was always talking talking talking smack and you were quiet you were honest and trtuth preailed and i was hated for all the right reasons and it mattered that you said things i approved of and went for goals and accomplished amazing feats in the name of horrible ancient gods.

but here. now. i know you were the one the one you who said the things i didn't want to hear the one who saisd things she meant and tried to pretend she didn't love me didn't love me anymore this time around.

this time around i don't need you. this time around i won't ahve to call. this time around it won't matter if your trying to break my heart or destroy my car or steal the music from my life. this time around i know you'llbe alright without me and i'll be here-just okay- without you but moving on and getting on and trying not to care.

i wish i'd said all the horrible things and you'd been honest, not the other way around.

2002-12-27 | 8:17 p.m.
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