do androids dream of electric sheep?

the only thing i know for sure is you are alive.

i keep reading things you wrote and wondering if they're about me to me for me, more.

i am trying to keep the days in balance.

i have no idea what is going on anymore. survival is a slim denial. more than anything i want to know what happened and if this is for good. are you gone for good? will the last words you ever spoke to me be "i love you. i'll see your wednesday."? you chased them with a kiss that stole my heart. when you drove away did you know you'd never speak to me again? when you arrived did you know?

i am counting stars inside your face now, satiating myself on images of you: trying to figure how to make it mean nothing, come back to nothing, add up to less than something. how long were you planning the demolition of me?

survival is a slim denial. stark raving mad is three breaths away and i am balancing on the sea breeze, careful. always careful.

2004-02-25 | 1:15 p.m.
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