una badass chica sent me this

una badass chica sent me this and it really moved me to i wanted to share it. of course, i am sharing it with her permission.

"when i was a little kid, i was terrified of everything. basements. closets. bad guys. rollercoasters. chairlifts. empty streets. wild animals. i guess you could call that phobic. the reason i was terrified of everything was because i had no security. because of how my parents were. my childhood was like freefalling. but worse. so my mom made me walk the dog. but not just outside to pee. she wanted the dog to get enough exercise(which i fully support)so she made me go around the block three or four times. this would take about 45 minutes if i actually did it. but especially around dusk, i was afraid. looking back now i don't even know what i was afraid of. kidnappers i think. and she knew how terrified i was but she made me go anyway. or i would be punished. so i would walk along the street in front of the house, slip behind my neighbor's house, dart through the woods laying very low behind my house, and come out the other side. i would wait until my mind had walked the distance before re-appearing on our street. i was basically looping around our house, but timing it properly. my mother never knew.

my heart is broken from little samantha. sometimes when i think back on stories of my childhood, i want to scoop up that little girl and save her.

no, not sometimes."

2004-07-20 | 2:09 p.m.
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