how life feels

i fell asleep this afternoon late in the day later than i like later than maybe is best i woke working my fingers through my hair and pounding out words on imaginary typewriters that look exactly like my first one exactly like the last one the early one somewhere people are having conversation about sex and drugs and maybe (if we're lucky) rock and roll and i'm jsut barely awake barely alive in any large and defaint way but words these words or words like them kept floating by i remembered something i forgot for a while and now it's back now i'm back now i'm coming clean about airdusters and messy apartments and smoke signals in the backyard as a child like when i covered my stressball that was painted like planet earth (that gave it to us in school) in hairspray and lit it on fire and bounced it around in the tub just to watch the motions of fire just to watch the way it moved and how lively how alive that fire was and how nicely and transfixed i watched until it lit the shower curtain on fire and i had to turn on the faucet to put the flames to bed so then i opened the windows and turned on fans to air out the house before my parents got home and it worked they never noticed it was a shower curtain with a liner outside of it made of sheet material anyway that's about how it happened and suddenly that feeling watching the fire and then turning the faucet to put down the flames is very much how life feels right now.

2004-06-26 | 7:36 p.m.
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