hurled heart song

the other night i did something i haven't done in years. i thought about coastergirl. it isn't that she's been absent from my mind for all this time of course, but this was different. this time it wasn't remembering the fact that she existed or reminiscing about some funny thing, a memory triggered by a certain happening around me. it was different. like when it first went bad. it was an image of her, sitting on the coffee table in her living room wearing a wife-beater, with her elbows resting on her knees, her hair falling into her face. and then it was her face contorted into that silly sort of smile she got whenever anyone gave her shit about something. and then it was gone. just that and only for an instant. and in that instant: a lifetime. i remembered why i loved her. i once again had a loose grip on that fragile floating thing that makes one person love another, that invisible peice of something that makes you tremble over someone, because of someone.

i can't describe the feeling. maybe that's why i'm trying to.

2004-06-11 | 12:34 a.m.
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