life in a tin cup

it's so easy to be what you want to be. i've had this conversation over and over with my cousin who insists, as does society, that if you are not dating someone then you are techincally "alone". people say, i don't want to be alone, but really what they mean is "i want to have someone to call my boyfriend or girlfriend, because otherwise, i am alone in the world." where did this myth start? it's sadder than any hated myth or sorrow-builder we have and yet we perpuate it. alone is not not the lack of a date, it is the lack of a heart.

i've noticed there are people, this year as last year, that keep saying in entries (the language of broken records) that they are alone this year, or were alone that year, last year, one year, some year, now, they are alone. it is always that way. every year. and we pile them on, year and year and year again, we';re stilla lone we say, but why? what's wrong with me.

i've found in these cases that usually the answer is that they're not paying attention. it is abundantly clear, that even were we to buy into this alone or dating theology of sorts, that everyone is to someone's taste. i have yet to find an exception. the fact that you don't want it is what makes you alone.

it's been a good day today. i think it will continue to be. i think i am begining to accept what has been coming for a long time now. it's eas6y to be what you want to be. and she wants to be alone. otherwise, how can she write about how hard it is?

2003-12-22 | 12:08 p.m.
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