welcome to the moon, sara

sometimes a the sun brings snow so hard you can barely see at all barely see at all barely see anything anywhere at all:

i've been thinking dreaming lately of little dreams- the math of prerequisites for who to love and how and how to love who. they say everyone gets their own kind of love but what happens if someone else wants the kind i give to someone else or what if soon i need pass along the bad news to whoever there is whoever there might be and the bad news is always about losing what you want about not getting what you want not getting who you want (who ever thought we'd make it this far?)

and then sometimes it goes the other way and you're on the recieving end of the bad news so much of life so often is a long giving and getting of bad news interlaced with insensitivity and a pint of rum to bury yourself in like i buried myself like we all need sometimes to bury ourselves in.

so when you call me to tell me all this and ask if you can stop by i know how clearly in this you are me when i was there and i am you when you said to come over and now the unwinding of the karmic laws of you and i and how well we know each others scars (two in the chest, two in the chest) and why can't we all go about it some other way?

you'd think we'd learn by now.

you'd think we'd learn by now.

but i don't and you don't and everything we do shines it out like spotter lights and dark rooms (hollow as hell) and waiting sometimes.

so now you're the heartbreak sweetheart with the swolen glands the red cheeks and sad stories to tell about how happy you were how glad you were to be passing days the way you were and how the rug came flying came flying out from under you and how fragile is happiness sometimes and you know i know you know i know i know you do.

and for us we play the roles of crutches you for me and me for you and that's okay because sometimes you just need to lay your head down and sigh (silence eats heartache)

where are the words you left me with the last time that helped so much (i should have kept them around for you when it falls like this and it always does sooner or later)

that's the game you know.

everyone everywhere needs a heartbreak dancer someone they can go to someone they can talk to when the end rises up to meet us and i know how you were that for me and i was that for you and we keep trading comfort between us and i'm so glad to do it so glad to be here for you the way so many time you were there for me we'll rent movies or get drunk or laugh at strangers or let strangers laugh at us and this time you'll be the one making a damn fool of yourself in some bar somewhere somenight coming soon .

and it's good for everyone to be a fool sometimes good for everyone to know how unserious life is meant to be how we aren't supposed to take it like it's all there is- it's just energy changing hands just nervousness shifting back and forth and we know it we know it but take it seriously still and that's why we need each other that's why all of us need each other.

it's why you need me why i need you.

and that's just one kind of friendship just one kind of kinship brotherhood sisterhood the interrelation of all things glowing and free- the greatness of womanhood the greatness of manhood and all the ways we fuck up on the way and so here we are playing riddle games with our emotional tones playing games with our overgrown egos and underdeveloped souls, underpaid victims of a life lived in ignorance you and me and everyone else too

it's like we only live at sunsets and sunrises the time between is just the waiting and why do we do it like that? why do we go through these cycles of eatting our own insides and swallowing our tongues what happens if one day everything else is so clear so clear the way it sometimes is for everyone (do you ever get that feeling?)

so i'm glad to get the tag and jump in the ring because you need my help and one day i may need your help and who needs that kind of karma (the kind where you dodge chances to help someone else) and why should we ever be so foolish?

so hop on: this is life and we can dance through this day together we can laugh through the night together there isn't any reason anywhere to not do it.

2006-04-09 | 12:38 p.m.
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