my life

yeah, i shambled out with the masses and picked up a copy of clinton's book, "my life".� i had to. the thing of it is that there's always been a something about clinton that i liked.� he seemed to give a good goddamn, and� i can't remember the last time i looked at a public leader and really felt like they cared one way or the other about the people themselves.� these people are public servants shouldn't it eb agiven that they at least be able to make us think they care? but they don't. they don't bother. they're too busy stroking their own cocks and puching the kill-em-all buttons. but clinton was different.� listening to clinton speak is about as close as i can ever get to having heard kennedy speak.� his talks actually make me want to be a better person.� my feeling is that he wants to be a better person.� and i like that.

compare the tones of clinton's speech after the oklahoma city bombing to bush's after 911.�

clinton's tone:� "in the face of death, let us honor life."
bush's tone:� "we'll kill anyone we think might have been involved."

two totally different animals.� a while back i picked up a copy of sarah vowell's book "take the canoli" which has an essay about a trip she took to disneyland with a friend of hers.� the part that was so fascinating to me was when she talked about the hall of presidents.� she talks about the little speech bits from each president and clinton's was something along the lines of "let us pause and apreciate the very idea of america.� the idea of a country founded on the principles of being without prejudice and with equal freedom for all.� we have to remember that there is nothing wrong with america that cannot be cured by what's right with america."

of course, that said, we all know that for so very long there was not equal freedom for all, and that even now, there is so many inequalities and imperfections.� but the idea that we have the foundation laid, the ability, written into our national genetics to grow and be better at being human is beautiful to me.� nothing is more precious than potential and clinton has always given me that feeling, that for all our flaws and weaknesses as people (american and non-american) we have the potential to be great.� salutations, mr. clinton.� you are right.� and it's high time we all started paying attention to it.

so, by now, i'm about 30 pages in and the format is quite different than i imagined.� it is less straight story and more a collection of why-i-am-how-i-am anecdotes.� he begins before his birth telling the story of his father and his quest to understand who his father was and how that affected him and then moves onto his childhood, step by step telling us about the tiny, seemingly insignificant events that made him who he is.�

one in particular i remember well is a story he tells about a young girl that lived across the street from him as a boy, who used to poke fun at him and�how, years later he began to understand that she was developmentally challenged and how that experience of knowing her stayed with him and kept popping up whenever he had what he believed was a chance to make a difference in the lives of challenged people.

he seems to tell a story and end each one (thus far) with an explanation of what he learned from it.� he'll tell you about his uncle buddy and how hard it was for uncle buddy to watch his wife dying in the hospital.� then say something to the effect of, from "watching that experience i learned the importance of accepting that you don't sign on for the good aprts of a life ride, you sign on for the whole bit, high and low."� simple, i know.� obvious, even.� what i am enjoying is how he seems to have taken a lesson from everything that ever happened to him, how he seems to have learned from everyone he has known (for which he continually credits people).� it is remarkable just how much he credits others with the great things about himself, and yet takes the blame wholly on the problems he has. it reminds me of old give-em-hell harry's favorite phrase "the buck stops here." are you listening bush? are you catching onto how real men and women of character don't blame someone else everytime they act the fool?

anyway, i just wanted to throw out a few first impressions about the book, maybe as a way to help me categorize my thoughts on it.� it's a book i am excited about continuing and moving forward with.� i guess i'll end this with a bit from the introduction to the book:

"when i was a young man just out of law school and eager to get on with my life, on a whim i breifly put aside my reading preferrance for fiction and history and bought one of those how-to books:� "how to get control of you time and your life" by alan lakein.� the book's main point was the neccesity of listing short-, medium-, and long-term life goals, then categorizing them in order of their importance, with the A group being the most important, the B group next, and the C the last, then listing under each goal specific activities designed to acheive those them.� i still have that paperback book, now almost thirty years old.� and i'm sure i have that old list somewhere buried in my papers, though i can't find it.� however, i do remember the A list.� i wanted to be a good man, have a good marriage and children, have good freinds, make a succesful political life, and write a great book.

whether i'm a good man is, of course, up to god to judge.� i know that i am not as good as my strongest supporters believe or as i hope to become, nor as bad as my harshest critics assert.� i have ben graces beyond measure by my family life with hillary and chelsea.� like all families' lives, ours is not perfect, but it has been wonderful.� its flaws, as the world knows, are mostly mine, and it's continuing promise is grounded in their love.� no person i know ever had more or better freinds.� indeed, a strong case can be made that i rose to the presidency on the shoulders of my personal friends, now the legendary FOB's.

my life in politics was a joy.� i loved campaigns and i loved governing.� i always tried to keep things moving int he right direction, to give more people a chance to live their dreams, to lift people's spirits, and to bring them together.� that the way i kept score.

as for the great book, who knows?� it sure is a good story."

2004-06-26 | 3:12 p.m.
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