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i turn around and you are on you knees again she was tyhe kind of woman who could make "i love you" sound malicious. her breasts didn't move when she breathed (it was like she had a secret paiur of lungs lower than the lowest part of us). i remember how her nipples gained definition in my mouth. how her eyes fell into shades of blue after an instant a new shade that wasnt there before (she had green eyes). i look at what has washed out sailed out a new ship coming soon it all i know what i'm saying i know what i'm doing. if what i had to say was epic i would destroy it with words to change the language it seems its all coming around all going down i glance fragile misty eyed around and suddenly the light falls upward and it all comes clear all the truths we ever new come brave and free wagging their tales and talking about lust does it even matter what we're talking about? with gentle toy fingertips over the cities and countrysides she whispered lies into my ears called lust and falling asleep at peace sleeping in nights hours sweaty palmed al of this is nervousness is just another way to not think about the wones it was and her green eyes i remmeber broken rocks given to me half on one half on the other me on top of you on top of her every film is just an excuse for the sex scene i think aloud when she climbs aboard my train it was all so good to think about worry about i was so wrong about so many things letting her hardcore "i love you"s drift slight and rumble through my memory i'm glad it went the way it did. then it was a tuesday and i woke at ten. you weren't there. good news sleeps till noon. you (she) make me feel like a lie that's about to come true. that's how it always was. ten thousand legs spread later the first of my stomach problem girls my sugar coated queens and ex lax dies for big city breast enlargements breast fed happiness anbd saturday night youth extinguished. the fire stoppers on the wall beneath the shelf of blankets and distaster relief to save you from yourself. soon enough. soon enough. i sat weary begging "right the wrongs for me." too soon to tear the diamonds from around your neck (i might not if i could), hide away your stolen kisses i'm coming i'm coming to call on you here now the way it was, dear memory, you can't keep me back. your alive only in mind now the way it was the way it will alwaysw be locked an ocean in my soul named after you. how you made sense of all the madness made me flood angelically somewhere up where you are/were it is always where i wanted to be beneath you eyes i had to be at fifteen sixteen now i know the way of it the way it really makes me shudder i can hold it tender sea urchin in my palm and make straight A's of our life together. we sat talking of the animal poets of sad disillusionment dragging our thoughts into the night for the neighbors to call the cops on smiled bashful at each other, fucked and the sun (still) came up in the morning. its all how i remember it how i always think of it it trapped monkey bars tales told by firelight candlelight it;'s all so grand when we talk about love and death and every other thought that makes us swoon. we had sky dreams wanted to fall apart "i'd love to change the world" you'd say, "but will there be parents in the sun and old folks particular about words at least a little more than the angels and the nudes?" "i only love it when it falls bright on you. it always does you know."
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