a note both to and because of

a while ago, me and the lady hit a rough patch; a few things that wouldn't be prudent to go into here just now, but it boils down backwards to trouble as trouble goes (a thin layer of cosmetics, maybe i thought, maybe we thought we had it covered over). then a bit passed, a little strangeness, some of the best of times at all and, as life has a way of doing, we felt good (the way vacationers feel on white sand beaches after year long yearnings come through).

i suppose the dinners never sat totally right after the second patch, a little heartache here and there, dealt with and handed out, surrendered to: kentucky delux solutions for me, a row of decisions, indecision for her.

not long afterwards she took a trip that lasted a about amonth and for a while, after a while, my life fell into a rhythm, sensible and sweet early to bed early to rise, the whole nine yards and when she came back the answers measured out. funniest thing is that after a little while of ups and downs, a few times around the bend of heartache with this one (a darling angel who sometimes gets lost on the putting green between what she wants and needs) and the last drink was called, the last glass set down, a few rendering and some muttering for a few days.

anyway, what i'm getting at, and maybe dancing around a bit is how the bounces and boundings and time living onwards without her made it all come a little smoother. not to say that there's not some pain, a little here and there, but tonight i'm sitting here and i realized a minute ago that i didn't really worry or wonder about it all day today. i didn't really think about it yesterday either, at least not in any aching way and maybe, what i'm thinking is that maybe the trials and tribs that blew through a couple times and the last few rough ones kinda let me get an early start, a running shot at moving on, and maybe that's what's happening.

so maybe, to her i owe a thank you: for doing the right thing for the wrong reason (avoids and all), but maybe just maybe it worked out for the best. you know, it's easier not worrying about yourself all the time.

of course, tommorrow is another day and i could feel completely different about it by then. but for now a thanks and smiles looking forward: glad we won the chance at chances (and they all are).

2004-05-26 | 11:17 p.m.
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