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life when your taking telemarketer's calls the phone rang. ME: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ... ME: Is this AT&T.? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T .... ME: This is AT&T.? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T .... ME: Is this AT&T.? AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please.? ME: May I ask who is calling.? AT&T: This is AT&T. ME: Ok, hold on. At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting. ME: Hello.? AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron.? ME: May I ask who is calling, please.? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: This is AT&T.? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: The phone company.? AT&T: Yes, sir. ME: I thought you said this was AT&T. AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company. ME: I already have a phone. AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day! ME: 7 days a week.? AT&T: That's right. ME: 365 days a year.? AT&T: Yes, sir. ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing! AT&T: We think so! ME: That's quite a sum of money! AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up. ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance.? AT&T: Excuse me.? ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T: What are you talking about.? ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day,$1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute. ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme.? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ... ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please.? AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary. ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.! AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold. At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner. SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron.? ME: Yeth.? SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program. ME: Is This A T &T.? SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is. ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you. ME: Thank you. I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone. AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.? ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother..." - anonymos
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