let the dead bury their dead

i woke having spent the evening with a strange angel from pogos past. she is certainly an original. i enjoyed the evening, overall. it is so enebriating having a woman in the house. and i am ever thankful for it. it was a nice change from the route this pull that put that over there twinge of everyday life. like a vacation for a few hours. at any rate, we are watching her boa for a while so i am sure i will have more occasiona to have conversation with her. everything was so exhale last night that very little real conversation was exchanged. it was good in itself though.

so, having woken thankful, i am streating the day on the pages of thanks. sai bab (an indian mystic) would say that Om encapsulates this as it is the sound of thankfulness and appreciation for creation. so i will om my way through a few scrambled thought patterns here and maybe drool a little about the really good ones, but pay no mind. life is just a series of chances to be thankful.

and here, in the cool air of the room, i am thankful for barbara. not for anything she has said and done or thought or even meant, but just that she is. she adds color and sunshine to my life just by being.

i am thankful for joshua, student of existence, for having the courage to try (what one tries is never as relevant as the fact that one is trying). i find myself often crying in bed when i think of how far he has come as a human being in the last years or two. i will never fail to thank every deity ever named and categorized for joshua's life and presence in mine.

i am thankful for yogi, who has put me through more trials than i might like to admit but has always been there to smile and laugh with me at the end of it. at some point a while back i allowed another person to come between us (i suppose we both did), and that is a mistake i never want to repeat. one person's relationship with another has nothing to do with any other person alive. he is my friend and has guided me through the storm and tribulation that was coastergirl and i know that i can always call on him for a few laughs and a good long talk over a few cigarettees and a cup of coffee.

i am thankful for coastergirl, bane of my existence, theif of my enlightenment. without her i would never have found the holes in my dam which could never be plugged by fingers alone.

i am thankful for pogo. for having no idea who i am and doing his best to admit it after all this time. also, for his uncanny ability to be an ass for the sake of ebing an ass. few people do this with any real agility, and he does it with the smoothness of a ballerina. it is beauitful to watch and always keeps me laughing. it is important that one not take their life too seriously.

i am thankful for lindsay for sctribbling griggs out for us and lettting the world knwo the things that most people lock in tiny inner cellars to think about only when they want to feel special.

i am thankful for janechord, for having scrawled out his loathings for us one time more than any of us deserved. every moment was worht every ounce of effort that could ever be alunched into it, and i look forward to readin his novels.

i am thankful for karate for shining their tiny blue lights on my for a few hours and letting me see the clouds part and pause int he way that only someone who truley knows what it means to be alive could do.

i am thankful for a desk to set my thoughts on, a page to scribble them upon, and a page to post them on.

i am thankful for the grace that leads us all home when we only take the brief instant to smile, the grace of human existence.

i am thankful to cain, for being the fuzzy little bastard that he is and curling in just such a way that reminds me daily how we can all be compfortable at any time just by allowing it. (strange what one can learn from a cat)

i am thankful for beer for allowing people to open who have felt closed off and empty their entire lives. you give first voice to so many and there can be no crime in that.

i am thankful to mineral for the song "rubber legs".

i am thankful for the wind that blows me forward and launches me into each new day with a sort of vibrancy about me. without you i would feel still.

and i am thankful for every waking second i get to spend looking into the eyes of any human being that has ever set footing on the side of the earth i reside on. thank god for god. amen.

2002-11-18 | 12:01 p.m.
0 comments so far