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the coastergirl diaries volume twenty-six
coastergirl has a thing about hot water. scorching. i like hot water. really hot. she always needs is hotter though. and she takes like three showers a day, it's wierd. at least she did when we first met. seemed like every two hours she had to run home and shuffle out a shower. the best one she ever took was only a half shower in the back of the coffeehouse. we opened together and were sitting outside yarning on since it was dead smoking cigarettes and cigarettes and cigarettes. she had a water bottle and decided to squirt it at me. i dumped by cup of water on her. she went inside i thought to dry off, her shirt was white. she exploded back outside with a pitcher of milk which she poured all down the front of my black shirt. i looked like a manwhore. this needed revenge. but i waited. i was the coffeehouse count of monte christo and i could wait forever for the moment to be right. a couple of hours passed and she was walking around the end of the bar to get a drink for a customer and i dumped a huge pitcher of water down the front of her shirt. she had to hold it out so the customers didn't think we were having a wet t shirt contest in the store. in a few minutes she went to change into another shirt she convenietly had in her trunk. another white one. i met her at the door with a pitcher to drench the new shirt. she assaulted me with latte syrups for a couple minutes then went outside to change. the war was over. a few days later she was sleeping on the couch at work, so d. and i took some white chocolate and dribbled it on her lips and chin. she woke when the poloroid went off. she leapt up and made for the milk chocolate filling her hands with it and charging me hands out. i moved like a bullfighter (if i do say so myself), sidestepped her grabbed the rasberry syrup and began squirting her. she fell to the ground having gotten syrup up her nose. she went to wipe her face forgetting that they were covered in chocolate and got it all over her face and in her eyes. she got up getting chocolate everywhere and went to the back to wash the chocolate from her fingers. she came out raving. her: that's it, cocksucker! the customers were laughing. she chased me outside grabbing the almod syrup. i grabbed the chai. i turned to face her down. luckily there wasn't much almond left and the chai was almost full. she hit me again and again, i pulled it from her hands and tossed it behind me firing shot after shot of chai at her until she was against the porch rail wailing with laughter and soaked to the bone. i stoped. we went to the back and she stripped down to her bra and underwear and i hosed her down with the dishwasher nozzle until she was clean. we spent two hours cleaning up only to have to do it again when tricky came by and decided to see if he could fit an entire cake in his mouth. he did not succeed. he did, however, succeed in making an excellent mess and coating his beard with chocolate. i slept for a few hours on a store chair and went home. after we quit tim banned us from ever setting foot in the coffeehouse again, claiming he would call the cops.
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