the sky is the new ground

i heard it played out over round and round in my head and i was begining to wonder hwat it was all about. i'm sitting here thinking about posting old writing up and debating it. i'm thinking about the weather changing. i'm thinking about rent soming up. i'm thinking about getting laid. i'm thinking about a glass of water to go with my cigarette. i'm thinking about the cat sprawled on the white sofa arms out sleeping content and smiling the way cats do only when they sleep. i wonder if it makes a difference to smile large and grate your face against the fan of life.

someone called me arrogant the other day. i am i suppose. i prefer that to cocky, though. arrogance is an understanding of where you stand on a thing. cocky is thinking you're better than you are. i have no problems with arrogance in people. i actually like to see it. i'm tired of asking people if they're good at something and hearing them say "i don't know."

a person knows if they're good at something or not. this fucking PC universe we live in is strangling our ability to be honest. there are things i'm horrible at. i'm horrible at video games. i'm horrible at making music. i'm horrible at remembering to call people when i tell them i will. i'm horrible at being graceful.

there are things i am good at too, though. i am good at talking to people. i'm good at understanding them. i'm good at helping them find their goals and pursue them. i'm a good salesman. i'm a good writer. i'm good at smiling. i'm good at lots of things. and i wil not appologize for being good at something. i will not be made to feel bad or crappy about acknowledging my abilities.

so, once and for all, i launch one big "fuck off" to anyone who hates it when epople have confidence in their own ability at something. i'll always be the first to tell you what i'm bad at, and i'm not going to hold a double standard for the things i'm good at. politicvally incorrect or not. and i don't thinkthere should be a double standard. i think it's time we stopped being pushed by the cowardly low self esteem-ers into ranting about the things we're bad at and being afraid to admit to having ability in some area.

einstein said "i refuse to believe god plays dice with the world." if you get something here, you lose it there, it all even out. no one is better than anyone else, no one is worse. we all have things we're good at and things we're bad at. that's not arraogance, that's honesty. so i guess i'm asking all of you to be honest with me. what are you horrible at? what are you good at? let's get real for a few minutes before we all go back to lying. enough said.

2002-11-14 | 4:44 p.m.
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