ballad of the last lover

it falls distraught and careful rumbling deathly stares lodging hope in the base of our spine. the slaves sign their name in x and look careful on as our dreams are written out for them. we tell fairy tales until we find it.

and then it comes. it's with roses and walks down the street. and shouts in the alley. it's about hating yourself half of the time but going though it anyway. it's about wondering who you could have been before.

it's about going to bed late and getting up early because you can't help it. it's about not wanting to think about anything else at all. it's about leaving stranded every other detail in life because it just doesn't matter anymore.

it's about breaking plans you made four months ago with your best freind because you'de rather stare at someone.

it's about looking down shy when someone looks at you. it's about wanting to survive the fall just so you can smile once more in the same room as someone.

it's about talking for four hours at a time and not noticing there's anything else anywhere.

it's about finding hope for once.

it's about meaning it this time.

it's about trading forever for one more day.

it's about second chances.

it's about wondering who you could have been before. it's about sleeping only halfway and hoping you might get a chance to talk to them. it's about walking around head up your ass head in the clouds and not noticing when you piss someone off. it's about spending every dime you make and not caring one way or the other about it. it's about losing you hope. it's about trading it in for the chance to look into someone's eyes.

it's about showering together.

it's about kisses on shoulders and wrists and elbows.

it's about grafting new life goals out of someone else's pocket. it's about hating the world around you because it keeps you from her. it's about being blind to anythign that doesn't fit what you want to see.

it's about looking for a fight sometimes.

it's about making up afterwards.

it's about smiling because you know no other way than to be glad about things. it's about being jealous of every little move. it's about the way it makes someone feel to knwo you want them all to yourself.

it's about sex at the drop of a hat and a man cooking dinner. it's about glowing just because you can.

it's about trying it for real.

it's about giving life a go again.

it's about not giving in.

it's about not being bitter anymore or sad or lost or dreary or drifting without cause. it's about not being alone anymore. it's about the bed fitting two better than one.

it's about new haricuts and outfits you don't notice because you can't take your eyes off her neckline. it's about learning how to not stare at a pair of tits.

it's about trying this time.

it's about swooning.

it's about lust.

it's about not being able to look at other people because they just don't hold any interest to you.

it's about not caring that they don't. it's about not caring how things come across.

it's about losing yourself one last time.

it's about getting what you deserve.

it's about finally being the first priority.

it's about hoping it lasts forver.

it's about knowing it won't, but enjoying it anyway. it's about yelling back because you can't stand it when they're so adamant. it's about crying afterwards squeezing out words like "i'm so sorry." and "baby, i didn't mean it." and hoping it works.

it's about your last chance.

it's about the other chances you don't want.

it's about the roads you don't take.

it's about fairy tales. it's about your upbringing. it's about having the children talk. it's about having the marraige talk. it's about not knowing what you want but knowing you want it with her.

it's about finding out.

it's about understanding what you wanted all this time. it's about all your childhood dreams coming true. it's about getting everything you ever wanted.

it's about realizing it isn't what you wanted at all.

it's about not realizing.

it's about hoping it will fall apart.

it's about hoping it won't. it's about long glances and hopeful eyes. it's about the first and last sex. it's about the begininnings. it's about the ends. it's about the firsts and the lasts.

it's about hope for once.

it's about love at last.

it's about not sleeping by yourself.

it's about growing up.

it's about not letting off the gas petal. it's about everything you ever wanted all at once. it's about hating it. it's about going home at the end of the night and wishing you were still there.

it's about not knowing what your supossed to say all the time, but that if you say it wrong there'll be hell to pay.

it's about just wanting to sit and smile and talk nonsense with her again.

it's about meaning it this time.

it's about second chances.

it's about not fucking it up this time.

good luck.

2002-11-27 | 10:51 a.m.
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